Love and Marriage

I had a very different opinion about love and marriage. I had decided in my mind that I would never fall in love. Well, I had a different perception on love and marriages, a very conservative mindset. I always considered love marriage as taboo for me… just for me… Rather it was instilled in to me right from my childhood by my parents. So I had decided that I would never fall in love with anybody. I had nothing against people who go for love marriage. According to me “Let not Love be the basis for getting married. Rather allow love to be the result of a good marriage. Focus on other ingredients in the relationship and true love will seep in sooner than you think.”

A marriage is supposed to last a lifetime and it’s precisely this lifetime that needs to be the focus. It is more of indulging in activities that help us bond together or act more like a catalyst to help each other succeed, where two people share a common life purpose.

Its more of knowing what each one of us want out of life and having known that agree to strengthen the bond that exist between the two, with immense trust and respect for each other.

But now analyzing my conviction, can this be achieved by arranged marriage. Arranged marriage is altogether a gamble. Here you know nothing about the trait of the person, with whom you are going to spend the rest of your life. Whereas in love marriage there is at least 60% knowledge about the person as far as the character goes, until and unless you have fallen for a total fraud. And I am sure they must be fools. Hmm… well then why not go for the second option?

Since I have given it a thought, I have to prioritize the quality that I am looking forward in that someone special. The first thing that attracts any one is looks. Since I myself having very average looks, I should not expect that he should be damn handsome, but surely lovable. I would give more preference to smartness and intelligence. He should be a good friend to me, who understands me and knows my virtues and weakness and vice versa. This is not to avoid the differences between us, but to know where one should stop when the other looses temper. He should have a dignified persona.

Well I don’t think I am asking for too much. So I have the right to ask more. As I mentioned earlier, this is a relation, which should sustain lifelong. Hence the role of family is very important. I would like to be more of a daughter than a daughter-in-law. This would help each other to forgive simple mistakes that we commit.

I thought of rewinding all the faces I know, who at some time had shown interest in me. All I could find in most of them were that typical male chauvinism. Betrayal and male chauvinism are the two traits that I cannot withstand. Let me give an example; I remember a person in my college who flirts with four girls at the same time. As per him it’s good to have options… disgusting person! I hate him. It’s a total time-pass for him, but he is ignoring the fact that he is playing with emotions.

These incidents around me keep on confusing me, due to which I am unable to readily trust anyone. My parents’ concerns are quite understandable. I know it’s high time for a girl to get married, but I am still not ready for that. Probably it’s because I have never given a thought on marriage. But whenever I get married, it should a love marriage rather than an arranged one. At times I wonder during these long 25 years, I should have at least met one person with whom I would like to be spend rest of my life. As one of my best buddies said “It’s a negotiation”. In pure business terms let’s see when the bid happens and both party agree and finally ratification in front of the 'Holy Fire'.